Gazza and Ali Hamidi go carp fishing FULL VIDEO | Korda 2019
Gazza will come round, lift us all up. Yeah. The fog on the Tyne
is all mine, all mine The fog on the Tyne is all mine
Come on! One for you right back! It’s going to be a good day.
It’s always a good sign when you can moony at someone
from across the water. One of my childhood heroes,
national legend, all-round geezer. Just spoke to him on the phone
and he said, “If we don’t catch anything
I’m going to kick you in the lake.” There you go. You haven’t got them for me,
have you? – How are you?
– All right, son. Why aye man! All right,
where we putting these, then? Line them around the swim and that? When I beat you,
you’ll probably want to kill yourself, so that will go on your gravestone. He bought me flowers,
actually bought me flowers. I’ve never had that done. In all
the years of doing The Big Fish Off, no one’s ever bought me flowers. Not even my missus
has bought me flowers before. I’m going to cast with Gazza
with his arms around me. I like this. Ready? Let’s see if I’ve got it in me. Right, here we go. That was quite a bad cast, that. – Wow.
– It was bad, that. – That’s bad?
– Yeah, that was a bad cast, that. – It’s next to the bank, though.
– No, we’re going to cast it tighter. I’ve never cast
with anyone hugging me. – Why not?
– I know, I should make a habit of it. It’s the catapults. That was probably
the worst thing we could show him, because I think
his agent on the way home is going to be getting peppered with
whatever’s in the car, with a catapult. – That’s better, isn’t it?
– Oh, my Gosh. Unbelievable. – That’s better, isn’t it?
– That was class. All that happens now, we sit down
and then when they make a noise or the tip will end up pulling round,
pick the rod up, you’ll be playing a carp. I’ve never caught a carp.
I’m excited, yeah. First carp.
What have you caught most of, then? When I went fly fishing,
I’ve had trout and that. But when I played in China, it was so
funny, I was bored with nothing to do. I’ll get that groundbait off your nose. Nothing to do. So I’ve seen these koi carp things
in a little lake. So I went and grabbed a branch,
snapped a branch, went in my hotel room, got some needle and thread
with a little safety pin. Did that, and put some Jammie Dodger
on. I caught two and cooked them. – How brilliant?
– What, you cooked koi carp? – Yeah, I did.
– They taste any good? Better than the Chinese food
I was eating when I was in China. Jesus Christ. – Great to see you, man. He’s a legend.
– Yeah, I can’t believe it. Shut up, mate, there’s only one legend
here and it’s not me, definitely. Go on, have a sit-down.
Let’s have a sit and a chinwag. Look who it is. – Is it Dave?
– Yeah. Hey! – I bet you’re gutted, eh?
– Ooh, we’ve got a fish on here I think We’ve got a fish on. Hang on. Yeah, we’ve got a fish on. We on, we on.
Come on, Gazza, we’re on here. Film my cig. Look at his cigarette, it’s in his ear. What’s happened to the beaver?
Where’s the beaver? You think your nose is important,
you underlined it. Yeah, let me just tighten this up for
you a bit. Hang on one sec. Just tie… I’ll ring you back, Dave. You’re boring now. I’ve destroyed you
twice now, in goal and fishing. – Oh, God.
– Yeah. Wow. Big net, that. David Seaman couldn’t even
save one with that net even. Oh, God. You could tell with Gazza, as soon
as he was hooked into that first carp, he couldn’t believe it,
it was like a eureka moment. He felt that rod, he was, like,
“Oh, my God, this is different to a trout.” I was, like, “I told you.” Because
that’s what gripped me as a kid. The first time you hook that carp,
you don’t want to catch anything else. – Yes, Gazza!
– Get in! – Go on, then, mate, your first carp.
– Top lad. – Good fight.
– Yeah, brilliant. The one we caught, the first one,
unbelievable, fantastic. The fight was unbelievable. You think what one like, five times
the size of that would be like. – What’s this, about 4lb?
– No, I’ll give you 5, 5½ for that. – Beautiful.
– That’s your biggest carp to date. – Yeah.
– Top man. Taste this. You’ve had me taste
every taste in the world. Right, taste that. – It’s all right, that, isn’t it?
– It’s all right, that, isn’t it? – That’s like piña colada, I’d say.
– “Piña colada, like.” Piña colada, like. I just thought catching carp was you put a bit of a bread on a hook
and cast out. No, it’s completely different. The amount of flavoured stuff you’ve got,
it’s a different kettle of fish. I wish alcohol would taste like that.
It would be brilliant, wouldn’t it? – Yeah, like alcopops.
– You don’t need rehab with that. You know a connoisseur of wines?
I’m a connoisseur of rehabs, me. When I first went to rehab, they went,
“Gazza, you’ve got a drink problem.” I said, “Yeah, I’ve only got one mouth.” Go easy, now. Steady, yeah?
Slow and steady. That’s it. Lift. And then you really feel it.
Bit more meaty that way. – Oh, my God, Ali.
– It’s a nice one, this. – Wow.
– Nice and steady. – Slowly.
– Oh, my God, Ali. We’re in. Go on, Gazza! Get in! Yes! The geezer is such a lovely man,
so much enthusiasm. He was so excited to even be here
fishing. Unbelievable. Gazza and Ali! That’s unbelievable casting.
How did you do that? Get in, you…!
Come on, join in with this. Go on. Go on, please, please. – Yeah!
– Get in! Go on, Gazza, lad! You know Özil that plays for Arsenal? Yeah, Özil, looks like Özil.
Shall we call this one Özil? I’ve caught one of your family trees. That rod’s gone. Go on, Gazza, go on,
Gazza, get the rod, mate, it’s on. – Yeah, right old day, here.
– Come catch a trout with me and Ali. I mean… Come catch a…
Take two. – Come catch a…
– Carp! – As common as a…
– Rhymes with Noah’s Ark. Noah’s Ark, carp. Love it. Did you play with Beckham? – Yeah, he was there…
– He likes his fishing now. – Does he?
– Yeah, I’ve seen him go fly fishing. When I was in the England squad,
he turned up, right, and I always try
and welcome people in. And Beckham
was at the front seat, shy, and I’d played 40 caps or something. On the way to Wembley, just as
we were going to Wembley Stadium, the radio’s on, guess what come on? The Spice Girls.
Well, tell me what you want… So I’ve run to the front of the bus,
got the mic, turned to Beckham, “Well, tell me what you want,
what you really, really want.” He just put his head down. First thing he always said to me is,
“This type of fishing is boring, carp fishing, it’s boring,
you don’t catch anything.” We changed that, didn’t we? – You’re in again. We’re in the money.
– Yeah! – I’m the Kong.
– Wow. There you go. – One on the lips!
– Get in, look at that thing! The three-man deadlift.
I’ll lift the three of you up easy. Go on. – You’ve got to lie there, Ali.
– I’m intrigued to find out. – Go on, then.
– You’ve got to lie down, Ali. Shane and this one,
what’s your name? Right, you’ve got to lie down there. Yeah. Like a star like that. Right, like a star? – Lay down.
– Yeah, yeah. – Put your other arm under mine.
– Yeah. – Put your leg like that, same as him.
– Gazza will come round. You’ve got to hook round there, yeah? – Gazza will lift us all up.
– Watch my Achilles. Look at that rig, hooks into his leg. Gazza will come round
and lift us all up. The three-man deadlift!
I’d never heard of it! Eyes right in there, as well. It went right up in my eye.
It went in your bum. – Yes, Gazza.
– I tell you what… Oh, no, he pulled too hard. Oh, no. You’ve got to have one that got away. – Aye, that’s the one.
– But you cast it yourself. – I did.
– And you got the bite. – Well, the one that got away.
– Nearly perfect. – Perfect but…
– Not quite. Me and you was perfect enough. – Oh, what a day.
– Cheers, thanks very much, Ali. I never thought sitting in a chair,
having a beer, having a chat, and a cigarette or whatever,
would be so relaxing. And I haven’t had a feeling like this
for a long time. Thing is, we’ve been catching as well.
That’s unbelievable. I’m so happy, it’s unbelievable. And to have a great time with Ali. You’ve taught me
so much about fishing. I’ll definitely be carp fishing again
and I’ll definitely beat David Seaman. He hasn’t got a patch on me now. You’ve taught me everything.
I know it now. Brilliant. – We’ll be back.
– Definitely be back. Oh, what an end to the day.