Claire Corlett

Fish Food, Fish Tanks, and More
RT Shorts – Fish Wish

RT Shorts – Fish Wish

Holy shit, I think I actually caught something for once. I didn’t do that, Hell? Hey, what the fuck?! Put me back it the water! Hey there, little guy. You’re a wiggly one. I will sushi slap the shit out of you with my tail! You wanna get finned from a buddy?! Why are you talking? Because… I’m a talking fish, genius! Name’s Gil. It’s a pun. Okay. Look, here’s how this works: You caught me, the magic talking fish. Fucking huzzah, whoop-de-do, etcetra. So, now you get three wishes. Three wishes? Don’t interrupt, Inkstain! I said three wishes, and I can suggest a place to start. How about, TATTOO REMOVAL?! You look like a 4-year-old wrote all over you with a sharpie! Can I ask for more wishes? Holy shit! You actually found a loophole in the system! No one ever thought of THAT shit before! Nice try, mouth-breather! Three wishes, then you toss me back in the water! In the meantime, I’ll try not to take a fish whiz in your palm! Ahh, too late! I want a strawberry milkshake. Wow, are you good under pressure? Now, look, I can tell you’re not exactly a mental giant, but do yourself a favor and THINK BIGGER! Yeah, you know what? Better that make that TWO strawberry milkshakes. I’m pretty thirsty. Kid, I don’t think you’re getting it. Dos milkshakes coming up! Booyah! Fish power! Sweet. Not bad, right? You make a pretty good milkshake, fish. You sure you don’t want any? No, thanks. I’m lactose intolerant. Oh, well. Time for number two- aw, shit! HA! Classic! Nice job wasting half a wish, fatfoot! Fuck you! You’re the on that bit into the gummy bear with a fucking hook in it. Hey! Sarcasm isn’t attractive on anybody. And that thrift store plaid shirt ain’t helping, either! Man, I really wish I unspilled that milkshake. Are you fucking shitting me? You’re gonna waste another wish on that milkshake? It was a really good milkshake. You know what? I’m not even surprised by this. This is like the time I got caught on the Jersey Shore, and Snooki wished for more tan! No, I really do want that milkshake. (Gil) What the fuck?! I wish it was unspilled. Oh, for fuck’s sake, I give up! Trying to talk some sense into you is like trying to talk self-esteem into a fat girl! But hey, Why should I give a carp? Okay. Here goes nothing! Shazazzle! Okay, suck on that, land mammal! Now let’s review: Wish 1: 2 milkshakes. Wish 2: 1 milkshake. By my math, wish 3 is gonna be HALF a milkshake! You want that already spilled, Einstein? Well, it’s always been a dream of mine to have a talking fish sandwich. (babbles) WHAA? Yeah. Yeah, I think I’m gonna wish for a talking fish sandwich. Why would you do that? Um, ’cause it sounds delicious. I mean, look at you. All right. Very funny. Ha, ha. Everybody wants to make jokes about eating the magical talking fish. But guess what, Seinfeld? The joke’s on YOU! It’s against the rules! What if I wished that it WASN’T against the rules? HMM? Umm… (screams) Ew! Ow! Ow! OW! Hmm, not bad. You know something? You’re a real asshole! I’l get you for this you… See ya later, buddy.

100 comments on “RT Shorts – Fish Wish

  1. Wait a second… Wish 1 is 2 milkshakes, wish 2 is 1 milkshake, wish 3 is that eating a talking fish sandwich isn't against the rules to wish for. Ah nevermind this is Jeff we're talking about. Life finds a way.

  2. 1. Infinite milkshakes
    2. The ability to fill things (Bank account empty, fill it. Car out of gas, fill it. etc.)

  3. wait, why didnt he wish it wasnt agains the rules to wish for more wishes and then wish for unlimited wishes…#LoopHoleBitches

  4. I would have asked for
    1) Asking for infinite wishes not against the rules
    2) Infinite wishes

    And then I would gain every single thing I could ever want or need.

    If I HAD to make 3 wishes, then…

    1) Ability to Manipulate Emotions (like the Mule from the Foundation Trilogy)
    2) Ability to Rewind Time (just because, like the S5 RvB Time Distortion Unit)
    3) Ability to Use Telekinesis (Because, technically, telekinesis is moving an object with the mind. Therefore, I can make the speed I move the object infinite, and teleport stuff, while also being able to sever an object in two and just basically rem stuff).

  5. I hit "Newest first" on the comments and I'm surprised no one has brought up how the thumbnail for this video is the same(ish) thumbnail for the Euro Fishing Let's Play.

  6. Ah, 2 milk shakes and a talking fish sandwich, that sounds like the perfect meal for a summer afternoon at the local park.

  7. Proof that a person doesn't need to wish for fame, fortune or power to be happy. Sometimes its the simple things in life that we just need….and a milkshake.

  8. 1. Monetary security for my family
    2. Instant knowledge of the intricate mechanisms of weapon forging

  9. Question, if he used his final wish that it isnt against the rules to wish for a talking fish, wouldn't that mean he cant wish for a talking fish sandwich? or why cant he just say that wishing for more wishes wasn't against the rules?

  10. Wish 1: 2 Milkshakes.
    Wish 2: Un-spilled milkshake.
    Wish 3: Wishing for a talking fish sandwich not to be against the rules.

    The talking fish sandwich itself would be a 4th wish, he only gets 3. What the heck?

  11. Hey look its a bronzini. Those are farmed in greece for the most part, lmao not austin lakes.

    when you work at a fish market and you're good at your job

  12. He only had 3 wishes 2 were for the milk shakes but the last on was for a talking fish sandwich but he also wish for the rule to be changed so he had 4 wishes instead of 3

  13. Loophole, wish for anything you want to be refilled be refilled when you want, use your other wishes for something else, use the power if your first wish to refill your wishes and have even more wishes now

  14. Wish i could wish for wishes. I wish for 20 wishes I wish I could instantly shape shift into whatever I want whenever I want painlessly. I wish I could instantly create and exact copy of my current form whenever I want where ever I want painlessly. I wish I had telekinesis powerful up to a galactic scale and precise up to an atomic level. I wish I had telepathy/psychic hypnosis capable of allowing me to freely possess and or control anyone I want. I wish I had my own permanent pocket dimension entirely controlled by me that has any item in any world I could ever want or need and is populated by an army of immortal non sentient ethereal ghost slaves. I wish that I could at will (at the speed of light) instantly transfer between any dimension im in or want to be in to my pocket dimension/mansion and vice versa. I wish that I healed all sicknesses and injuries of any kind at 100000x normal speed and that I'm immortal and unhurtable in my pocket dimension. I wish that being in my pocket dimension humans become unable to remember anything in or from my pocket dimension and lose their sense of free will (unless I want them not to). I wish I could, at will slow down, stop, resume, fast forward, and even, reverse the flow of time. I wish that I had a mental memory bank and could add memory's to it at will and at will ( and in the event of my death) transcend space and time and return to that exact point in the timeline. I wish that I could control any of my non sentient clones from any dimension or place or time by willingly going unconscious until either at will or the death of my clone my consciousness will instantly transfer back to my original body wherever or whenever it is. Wish that I could at will learn any thing I want with no limit on my physiological, psychological, or mental state. Take over the world by killing all world leaders usher in a new era of peace institute new laws and new government restrictions (make the penalty for murder gestapoesque torture for a minimum of 8 years followed by being incinerated alive etc…)

  15. *Deep narrator voice: Soon after eating the magical talking fish, Geoff was imbued with the power to grant any wish he wanted, but at what price?

  16. huh.. the fish had it's revenge. Geoff got brutalized during the Euro fishing games.. and mini golf, but that was after he antagonized a magic gopher.

  17. Halt Wayward stranger! If you let me go I will grant you one wish!

    I wish for you to be my dinner.


  18. If you wished that it wasnt against the rules, that wouldve been your last wish? And you would've had to throw him back and not been able to eat him.

  19. Three wishes…okay.
    First, I want an anime girl to step on me 24/7.
    Second, I want an anime girl to call me baka and be a tsundere 24/7
    Finally, I want an anime girl who is best girl who is willing to try anything to be my girlfriend.

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