Claire Corlett

Fish Food, Fish Tanks, and More

Shark Movies of 2017


We’re not doing shark puns anymore. You have to help us fight the First Order, Shark Hamill Why? Is it another Death Star? They’re making a petition… to take this film out the Star Wars canon! NO! Execute order 66! TAKE THAT! Oh no! My body is being controlled by a white person! Well, maybe it’s not so bad… I think under certain circumstances it’s OK to use the n-word. OH JESUS CHRIST Oh look, it’s Wonder Woman! I’m sure she’s here to spread peace and love! PEACE AND LOVE! I sure do love World War 2 and oh look it’s Wond- PEACE AND LOVE! Hey Superman, err, what’s wrong with your face? I have no idea what you mean Batman. Can’t you see it? What is that? No, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I can’t be the only one who sees this! Wonder Woman! Where’s Wonder- PEACE AND LOVE! Wait, has anyone seen this film? No, my IQ’s not high enough. I haven’t even seen the other 2048 films. Wow Spider-Shark! How did you get your superpowers? I was bitten by a radioactive reboot. He crashed the car! Who let the baby in charge? Gasp! Look out! What is it? Is it a mummy? No, worse! It’s a CINEMATIC UNIVERSE! AAAAAAAARRGGGH! Someone on this train… is a SHARK! Whaaaat? Noooo. He crashed the company! Who let the baby in charge? ROOOOOAR! So, what will happen if I go down that drain? I will literally kill you. For real? Yes. Oh good! FINALLY! This film’s a total car crash! Who let the baby in charge?! I’m a baby, whaaa. Oh hi Shark.

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