THE BIGGEST FISH | Feed And Grow #2
*high five* Top of the morning to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye! And welcome back to “FISH Feed and Grow”! I smacked my hat in the start of the intro *laughs* That was stupid. Um Yeah, okay, so I wanna play the beta map this time. I think, well I played all the maps in the last episode, but I think, I don’t want to go back and play this because all the fish in here suck. Were all the fish in here a suck? I think they were. Uh. Fish select Yeah, What the fuck is going on with my computer? Oookay, Everything just went blank for a second So if it goes blank on the video you know what’s going on. Uhm Catfish buh… I’m going to call you a Bonerex It looks like bon-rex but I’m going to say Bone-rex Because that’s what it look like uhm But the Beta Map, what was in here? I think, Is this the one that had better fish? Cheaper fish? Yeah, cause you’re only five! I have zero, really? You’re 25 and I can get to the catfish again which is 50. UHM What does the raptor ability have? Your velocity is converted into bonus damage on next hit That’s shit! Every time you deal or take damage you gain 10% damage oookay Let’s play as this little dooder I want to do well in this! I wanted to actually, like, kill a bunch of fish and get really big cause every time I get some sort of decent size the-the game fails and dies on me and I die! And then I’m sad (D:) about everything that happens in my life (even cookies Jack?) Really spooky sounds in this game (Jack’s version of spooky sounds) It makes me feel like a demon is going to come And bite my ASS There’s no demons underwater though. There’s only demons underneath your bed (NO Jack!) Hahaha Good luck sleepin’ tonight kiddies So I’m going to eat all these first Cause they can.. Oh God. This game is disorienting as all hell at times Eat these first, because then I can level up And I can get bigger. I when I’m bigger and stronger, and I can kill things better Are you- WOAH! WHAAH FUCKING JESUS WHY ME? I got out of it!! How do you get OUT of that bullshit? (very Irish) Once you’re caught, you’re fucked! I was pressing all the buttons. I was pressing every fuckin’ button that was on my keyboard and everything just now Did I die? Yeah. Still died. Kill the fucking crab! Don’t fight back! Just- Just accept your death! HEY! NOO! MY SHIT! That’s it I got all the stuff anyway. (sassy jack) Everybody Get out of my house! (to the audience) not you guys, you can stay and watch me play. but everybody in the fucking fish world get out of my house. I’m trying to eat all these- This is a very nice lookin’ level Tryin’ to eat all these dudes and get a big- a big belly full of food. And all ye bastards keep coming in and stealing everything on me. okay, I can eat some of these dudes There is too many fish in this biome The FUCK is this? (thats what she said) This is not how nature works normally Fish are all terrified of each other. They are all little wimps Except sharks Those guys are fuckin’ evil. So, aim of the game is to keep movin’ If you stand still, you’re gonna die. You gotta hustle. you gotta-you gotta keep movin’ Just like in life! You gotta keep movin’ to get ahead. If ya- if you stop movin’ you’re going to get left behind and everyone else is going to get the fruits of the labours better than you are- Oooh fishers I wanna get the fishers (Jack attack noises) YES! Eat a bunch of these little dudes! If I eat a bunch of these dudes then I-I-I level up quicker Yes! Level fucking three baby! ‘Bout to be level 4! Who’s level four up in this? It’s Jackaboy, YES! Look how fat I am now! (Accent) I are strongest fish! I are best fish Kill ’em, Kill ’em, Kill ’em all, Kill ’em all. Just keep eatin’ these until you get to, like, level 10. I think level ten is the highest I can go I can’t get unless I play death match unlimited and I might try that afterwards, cause I can get higher level than ten, and I’ll be HUGE! Eat ’em, Yes! Am I leveled up yet? Aw, Come on! I wanna get to level 5! What’s the highest level I got to so far? Look at the size of me! I am a fat little fishy biiiii- AAAH there’s a lot of other fish go away go away go away There’s a lot of other different fish over there (Gets distracted) ooh hi! (Distress) He tried to bite me in the ass! I do not care much for that, sir! He still cha- Go Away! Fuckin-mother fucker. Eat the- AAGH they ganged up on me SONS OF BASTARDS How do I get out of that? Tell me! Tell me the how! Okay, fish select. It’s time to BE one of them. Be a Raptor (mumbles) fuckin’ hate those guys. (whiny) I hate ’em. They suck. I mean, are we faster now? AAHHH Leh- Chompers! FUCKIN’ SONS A’ BITCHES! Every time I’m a different fish, other fish come up and just chomp on my ass. What is this, a fuckin’ Jack buffet? Where you goin’ crabby? Crabby ass. Yeah, get ‘im dudes! Ha ha ha ha ha Did you steal all of my fuckin’ meat? I’M the cool one here. You guys are supposed to be helping ME. Fuckin’ sharing- I’m not sharing with nobody. I ain’t sharing with friends. Who needs to share with friends when you can have everything on your own? I’m just jokin’. You really should share with friends. Jacksepticeye supports the community. Jacksepticeye supports kids, yes. Seb- ye- Send kids to school. Yay, don’t do drugs. Goldie fish! Goldie fish! Get ‘im. Ah ha ha ha ha Got it. Got it. It’s MY meat. You guys stop trying to eat all my stuff. MEEAT! Yay! I need to kill somthin’ bigger. I need to kill somethin’ bigger ’cause they have more stuff in them. But I’m SCARED! I’m bad at being able to kill the bigger ones. I need to be a bigger fish. Bite ‘im, bite ‘im, bite ‘im. YES! Wassup, CRAB?! You feel a little crabby- FUCK OFF! He almost took all of my shit. Brothers and sisters! Come on down. Try and fuckin’ eat all the stuff I’m tryin’ to eat, ye bastards. I-I wanna be a crab. Can I be a crab in this game? I wanna try it. I wan- They have a nice life. They just walk sideways. Everything in the world looks better when you walk sideways. It’s like that episode of Futurama, when Professor Farnsworth could only look up. and the world had a brighter outlook on it. Oh look at all the meats! Aww, man. Meats! MEATS! I’m gonna steal all your meats. You guys stealin’ all mine, I’ll come back and steal all yours. That’s how I roll. That’s how I lobster roll. Oh god, Pike. Pike. Pike. There was a Pike right there. Oh, he better not chase me. Is he chasing me?! Oh, god, he scared the shit out of me. I HATE HIM! Maybe if I attack him, my friends will attack as well. Come on, friends, get ‘im! Get the pike! GET THE PIKE! FRIENDS?! Friends are not helping. Are- are they helping? I’m almost- I almost have him killed. Get ‘im. YES! WE DID IT! (Singing) We built this city on rock and rooollll. Fuck yeah, dudes. I’m level four. I’m a level four raptor. Like a VELOCIraptor. I wanna be level five, though. Give me level five. I wanna be level fiive. He hi- oh god. Oh god. Those are different fish. It’s just like- when you enter a different community in the world. When you’re- YEAH LEVEL FIVE! LOOK AT THE SIZE A’ ME! When you enter a different neighborhood, in the outside world in the- in the scary world. You just go out there and then everybod- you’re like, You guys a- you guys are different to me You guys are different I don’t like you. and then you have to run away ’cause they all going to kill you. Ianna kill all crabs. (Grunt) (Another grunt) Yeah. That crab had a bad life. Just sittin’ around gettin’ chomped on the ass. I’m gonna start eatin’ crabs now and then after a while I’m gonna be able to eat the other fish It’d be fine if they didn’t swarm me. I’d be able to handle them then. Come back here you… BITCH! ‘at’s it. Feed on the weak! Feed on the weaker fish! Yeah, ya shouldn’t a’ fuckin’ tussled with Jack, should you?! NO! (Grunt) MY MEAT! Sons of bitches. I know we should be in this together, but if you guys are getting big and I’m not, What’s the point?! I’m the one recordin’ a video. Gimme dis. Gimme all a deez. Gimme all a dis. Oh yes. Ah crab! (Grunt) Nyom. Nyom. Nyom. Feels good, feels good. What’s the highest level I got to so far? I’m level five now. I wanna get to level six. Shai- level six? Level six? Level six. LEVEL SIX! LOOKAT THE SIZE A’ ME! (With an accent) I’m a big badass fish, I am, mate. (Still with accent) You wanna tussle wi’ me? Ge’ outta’ my fuckin’ way. Who should I go for? Should we- ooh there’s bigger fish over here! There’s meat lyin’ around everywhere. You guys are very wasteful. WOAH! CATFISH! Should we eat ‘im together? I kinda want to He have all the meats. He might have ALL THE MEATS. (mumble) Whenever I’m in America Goin’ to conventions I always see that Arby’s commercial. (Imitating Arby’s commercial) Arby’s. We have the- (Silence…) Bitch! Good god! It’s a fuckin’ fish graveyard over here! Everybody’s dead! You can just come back and steal all the meat. Ah ha ha ha ha I didn’t know I could do that. Aww, awesome! Now I have 50 meat! Now I can become a catfish! Do I wanna become a catfish? Do I wanna get catfished? Yes! Of course we do! (Rhythmically) Catfish, baby. Come on down. (Continuing the rhythm) Come on down to Jackaboy town! (Reading) “Allows you to swallow 50% bigger fish than usually.” “Charges up over 10 seconds” Fuckin’ NICE! Am I gonna be super strong? I- I’m gonna play it safe first, ’cause this fish costs a lot. I don’t wanna get in, and then start y- oh GOD, I’m slow! Holy shit, my mouth is like a fuckin’ truck door! Am I strong, though? What’s the point of having a big, giant fish if I’m not strong? Ok, that’s strong enough. I can kill him in one bite. Fuckin’ PIKES! Come ‘ere! Come ‘ere! WOAH! I’M SUPER FUCKIN’ STRONG! I’m like Action Man, Superman, Batman Jackaboy Man All rolled into one. Best superhero. Good god, I am massive. I am gi-hugic. Eat all of these. (Grunt) Can I eat you? Come ‘ere, shrimp! (Grunt) Was i- Were you a shrimp, or were you a prawn or ya- were ya- were you a crawdad or were you doodad? I don’t fuckin’ know. Eat all the meat! (thats what she said) Yeeees. This is cool! I feel huge! YEAAAAH Catfish in the town! [jaws theme] Oh god, there’s a lot of pike around here oh god I’m scared. I’m scared. Come here! Eat him! [Jack noises] Three bites is all it takes and you’re in the catfish’s belly. Welcome to my playground, Bitches! [Jack noises] Yes! Oh God, I feel so powerful Is this what it feels like to be the God? [singsongy] I feel like it must be! Just devouring fuckin’ catfish or, pike like it’s nothin’. YOU CAN’T EAT YOUR BROTHERS! That’s cannibalism! That’s fish cannibalism! Fish-ibalism! Ca-Fuckin’ You’re too fast. Come ‘ere! fuckin’ asshole. Eatin’. All. The. Fish. This is MY house! Mmmmmy House! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! The pikes are nice, because the pikes don’t gang up on you. There’s only a few of them. Come here! I’m going to keep eating ye bastards until I’m full! Until I’m satiated (good word!) Until I have EVERYTHING that I want in life. That time I wanted a bike for Christmas and my parents couldn’t afford it. Now look what’s going on! I can afford ALL THE BIKES! Hah, Bikes and pikes, that rhymes. [gutteral] COME ‘ERE! Fwuh, get ‘im, get ‘im, get ‘im Bite his ass [Jack noises] Yeaah! Ya ain’t escapin’! Good god I feel so powerful. I’m level 3! Catfish! Look at the size of me! I’m like a Whale! This is AWESOME! I need to go to a different part. I need to go to a different part of the ocean. Get down to a different part of the ocean and then become a catfish become catfish, catfish of life. oooooh this might be bad. Ooh there’s swarms of them everywhere. Oh Jesus. [Jack noises] Ooh, fuck. Fuckernutters. Okay, just get in and get out. (That’s what she said.) That’s what it’s all about. You don’t want to get swarmed. Cause it’s like when you (stutters) again, a different neighborhood. And there’s just a bunch of dudes everywhere. You still don’t mess with them. even if you are a giant enough arrows in the legs are going to kill you anyway. So be careful. Be careful out there. [Jack noises] Come h- Come ‘ere! You’re almost half-dead anyway. Yess! YESS! And I have 61 meats! So when I change levels, I should be [gets distracted] Is there a dead fish up here? Yeah! So when I change levels I should be able to get another really good fish at the start Yes! This is GOOD for me!! Good for Jack! Oh God, Oh God they’re ganging up on me. They’re gangin’ up on me! What do I do? [distressed Jack noises] Eat, Eat, OH YES! [laughs] [very Irish] Oh die ye fuckin’ peasants. [evil laughter] I am almost a level four catfish. Good god I am massive. This is the best! This is the most fun. I AM HAVING A GOOD TIME! Level four! Yes! These guys will gang up on me and destroy me ass though if I’m not careful. Like, like they are doing right now. Oh they hurt! Oh they are doing a lot of damage! Suck up all the meat [oh Jack…] Get all my health back. GET OUT GET OUTTA HERE! NOO NOO I can’t escape! Get away! Eat! Eat! Eat Somethin’! Eat Somethin! I need- I need sustenance! Batards, Bastards, Bastards , Bastards. Get outta here! Get outta here! Get away! NOOOOOOOOOOO I was a catfish. I was the chosen one 🙁 Oh Kay! Let’s try the ocean level Fish select Oooohhh OOOOOH I can become a Browurag However that’s- I could be a Shark!! right from the start! Shark Start Wait what was my power? I don’t know what my power is as a shark! I dont have one. That’s fuckin’ great That’s just, oooh, perfect. I love that… Oh am fast? Oh so fast. You guys better run! Sharkboy and Lavagirl’s in town! for one night only. don’t go see that movie, it’s fuckin’ terrible. nothing will satiate the shark! satiated shark is not a thing. Another shark bro! hey friend! Do you want to go eat some crabs? No? He just wants to do his own thing? I’ve heard of a lone wolf but not a lone shark! Are you a wolf shark? Tiger shark? eel? [Jack whale noise] Yes! I’m going to be so good. I’m going to be so good about this. and I’m going to get all the meat. and then I’m going to be a Browurag Whatever the fuck that is. I have no idea. It sounds like a pre-historic fish. [singing Little Mermaid] Under the sea Everything is better, down where it’s wetter, Under the sea COME ‘ERE I need to bite you in the fuckin’ ass. Yes! I don’t even know what you are. Stahp it! STOP Stop it STOP Stop it Asshole What a dick. Kay. I wanna- I wanna get outta here. I feel uncomfortable. I feel unsafe. I feel unclean Where- where’s another one of those guys? I don’t even know where you guys are. WOAH BROWURAG! HE’S SO COOL! He ate my shark friend! Get in. Get in and steal the meat Get in and steal the meat, Yes [laughs] Later Fuckers! I’m going to be so big. So big and avenge my brothers. Did you kill my brother? His name was Steve. Shark Steve. It wasn’t a very cool name but he was my friend! Oh God! Oh God those guys are scary. They’re fuckin’ huge! I wanna get in and steal the meat again though. Can I? Oh god no don’t attack me! Don’t attack me! Yes! YES! [Jack screaming Oh No] [Jack screaming Get away] No, no, no, I wanna get away [Singsongy] I wanna flyyy away! GET AWAY FROM ME SON OF A BITCH NOOOOO I thought I was good 🙁 Don’t get greedy! When you get greedy then you fuckin’ die. I’m pickin’ a different fish. Cause that’s going to cost me 50 again. I need to get a hundred and one [Whiny jack] SUCKS! almost there I have 98 I only need 101 I’m going to be like a scavenger. Wait. Unless I can kill this dude. Come ‘ere’ Come ‘ere. Ahh! You guys are so fast! I want to be like a scavenger and just steal some of the meat that other people leave lying around Like that! 99 100 One more, Yes! 101, Yess! Here we go, Here we go. fish select baby! All the way out to the end! Browurag! Are you guys ready? For the biggest fish in all the… land… In all the ocean! Oooh yes! Do I have any powers? No. Okay. I only have the power of Awesome! [Jack noises] God I bite so fuckin’ slow. Yaaay! I killed my first kill. Baby giant shark’s first kill. Ohh. So adorable! [laughs] I want to get to like, level 20. I can’t. I can only get to level 10 in this mode, but I want to get to level 20 Take on the small fish. [Jack noises] This guy sucks! Did I just kill him in one bite? Cause that’s pretty awesome. Nobody’s even attacking me, everyone’s afraid. Haha, so you should be! Browurag friend! Hey! How’s it going there? [Jack mating call] That’s the sound we make right? That’s what my father told me, but, I mean He wasn’t around very long to teach me this stuff. Where’re you goin’? Man, we gotta stick together and fight together! Those who fight together, die together. Actually, that’s terrible. Yes, Yes, oh Yeaaah baby! Still only level one. God it takes forever to upgrade these dudes. Hwah Come on! You’re not a one bite kill? Everything should be a one bite kill with these guys. Huyh yes We’re so cool! Oh God! Oh God! Browurag buddy! Friend!! Friend help me! I need to turn and kill. Turn and kill Turn and kill! God I’m fuckin’ bad at this. Get away! Get away ye bastards. I-I need sustenance. I need sustenance. health. Get AWAY from me!! How do I get away?? This is so annoying! Stop it! Stop it! I-I need to get away. I need to get away. There’s no fuckin’ help! There’s no HELP! HELP ME! I AM DONE! How the fuck do ya escape when people all latch onto you? You can’t even turn and fight them . because when you turn they are still latched onto you God Damn it Anyway! I’m going to leave this episode here. I got to be a Browurag for like two seconds. That’s good enough for me That’s the highest achievement I have for my life. Slap it on the fridge. Thank you guys so much for watching this episode If you liked it punch that like button In the face Like a boss. And high fives all round! [High Five noises.] Thank you guys And I will see all you dudes. [high pitched] In the next video! Subscribe to Jack!! 🙂 Or just jam to awesome music. There is a lot of saliva comin’ at you right now. You’re so lucky you’re behind a computer screen. I mean, I spit so much you probably still feel it behind the computer screen. Sorry!