Claire Corlett

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The Four Love Types: Explorer, Builder, Director, And Negotiator

The Four Love Types: Explorer, Builder, Director, And Negotiator

The four types of love: which one are you? The idea of a soulmate is one found throughout all of popular culture. For example, the idea you could meet someone on a train and fall in love instantly. Let’s remove those rose tinted glasses that romanticize love and take a look at soulmates in a more scientific light. Dr. Helen Fisher who is a research professor of anthropology has studied human love for years. She’s made groundbreaking discoveries about who people are as lovers and the love they seek as a result. There are four love types that she discovered: the explorer, the builder, the director and the negotiator. Explorers are dominant in dopamine, builders are dominant in serotonin, directors are dominant in testosterone and negotiators are dominant in estrogen. Based on our chemical makeup it also shows in our personality, characteristics, habits and lifestyle preferences. Explorers are often associated with words like adventure, spontaneity and fun. Because their chemical makeup is predominantly dopamine these people seek a playmate in their lover. They see life as one big great adventure and want someone to join them in it. They are highly impulsive and curious. High dopamine levels also influence explorer types to be motivated and goal-oriented because they are linked to enthusiasm, energy, focus and assertiveness. Explorers often tend to be attracted to other explorers. Well, that sounds easy enough. When two explorers come together and sparks ignite with two bold hearts on fire if they don’t learn what patience is down the road, it is common for the two explorers to get in a head-on collision. This can result in messy breakups. Builders are often associated with words like family, honesty and loyalty. Because their chemical makeup is predominantly serotonin these people seek a helpful lover. Serotonin generates caution because it suppresses dopamine levels. Therefore, builders are relaxed, social, steady and family and community oriented. They are natural networkers and respect rules and authority in society. Builders are natural planners and like to schedule things ahead of time. They have an eye for detail and are linear in the way they do things in a step-by-step fashion. Builders are often attracted to other builders. These couples are often the highschool sweethearts you hear about who are still married 60 years later. Well, that sounds idealistic, that doesn’t mean builders don’t have their fair share of obstacles to overcome in their relationships. For instance, because builders can be set in their rules, schedules and traditions, two builders may bicker over what they perceive as the right way of doing things. It is important for builders to keep an open mind and learn the value of flexibility if they want their relationships to grow and evolve. Directors are often associated with words like nerd, ambition and challenge. Because their chemical makeup is predominantly testosterone these people seek a mind mate in their lovers. Directors are straightforward, tough-minded and decisive. They value logic. Therefore, when making decisions they are not easily swayed by emotions. Directors enjoy competition and are pragmatic, focused and daring. They are also highly ambitious and can be so independent that they can come off as lone wolves. Directors have excellent spatial skills and musical and athletic ability, too. Directors rarely ever go for other directors. Instead, they go for their opposite mates, which is the negotiator. This is because directors lack the verbal and people reading skills negotiators naturally possess that help attract them to one another. Although the director and negotiator typically make a good pairing problems can still arise. Directors, for instance, have workaholic tendencies and may neglect to spend quality time with negotiators and their family. Negotiators are often associated with words like kindness, empathy and sensitivity. Because their chemical makeup is predominantly estrogen they seek a soulmate in their lover. Negotiators are known to be the philosophers out of the love type group because their high estrogen level provides for web-thinking. This helps them connect a vast array of ideas, concepts and theories with one another as well as think naturally in an abstract manner and provides them with a vivid imagination. As a result, this makes them habitual daydreamers. Negotiators are highly intuitive individuals relying on their gut feelings often because they are natural feelers. However, negotiators can experience problems in their relationships when they dwell on casual comments and criticisms. They tend to take them personally and can cause them to hold grudges for months or even years. Negotiators are also susceptible to depression and can overdo it when they constantly feel lost. Always on the search for themselves, they can become overly self-absorbed, self-conscious and self-critical. Although these love types are more likely to be attracted to certain types of lovers over others the truth is that any love match can work. So long as the two members are mature enough and willing to cooperate with one another and work with each other’s differences. Despite the important research Dr. Helen Fisher conducted, we still know only a speck about love. It is still such an enigmatic concept that cannot be fully explained even in the outmost scientific way because after all, people often end up falling in love with those whom they least expect to end up with. Ultimately, in relationships it’s about constantly choosing your partner over and over again and kindness. If you find yourself in a disagreement with your partner pick up the phone or drive over to their place, swallow your pride and apologize. Ask yourself: is this really worth losing someone over? The sad reality is that things are always fleeting. But the things you do have control over make those moments count. What are your thoughts on love in the four love types? Be sure to leave your comments below and follow the link in the description to find out which love type you are. As always if you enjoyed this video be sure to like and subscribe to see more content from psych2go.

100 comments on “The Four Love Types: Explorer, Builder, Director, And Negotiator

  1. Happy Sunday everyone! As promise we release a new video every Sunday. This one is on love types. Which one are you? And let us know if you like this animation style!! Also, just a notice. We're setting up a paid membership website where you can get access to online digital courses, forum, and psychology gifts, let us know by emailing us here: [email protected]

  2. I feel as though psychology is a bit more complex. It can’t really be summed up like this. People are very complicated beings and aren’t very simple

  3. I think it’s funny how psychologists are always trying to separate and overthink and over-define characteristics like these🤓

  4. I got Director/ Negotiator both types were tied with the highest percentage but I was asked a rather silly tie breaker question "which am I more likely to do?" Do I like negotiating more or directing more is what the question is pretty much asking me but it feels odd to answer it because it really depends on what the situation calls for, whether I'd act one way or another. Also is this an odd typing?

  5. So……I’m a negotiator seeking a Director type that can sometimes be the man of the house while also being my passionate lover & soulmate.


  6. I am a negotiator definitely I have all the traits they said negotiators have but I’ve never been in a relationship before soooo. idk 😐

  7. This is so stupid. Most human beings with any kind of compassion would be a little bit of all of these. It has nothing to do with what's in our bodies, it has to do with our minds sets. So much poisonous bullshit on this fucking website, I swear.

  8. Fuck me. Why does a man need estrogen? I am a nerd and quite pragmatic and rational. But I don't seek any competition. Achievement and success means nothing to me. My brain simply doesn't fire. It's hard to motivate or animate me. I just do what I love. And not much anything else. I don't spend much time with any person. And of course I am deep down in depression. Emotions? Fuck, they are overwhelming at times. I would sell my soul to get rid of them forever. What's the benefit of having emotions? Why the fuck do I have too much of the wrong hormone? The mix of the worse sides of both types. Thank you genetics or whatever.

    Shouldn't have watched the video. Only bad thoughts arise of unnecessary knowledge.

  9. 55% Explorer and 48% Builder. I feel like this is true in a way… Though despite my exploror side I'm a bit introverted and won't often show enthusiasm. 😅

    Also, I would love or like to find a man with those two types or with the negotiator type. The director?? No. I would not like a director.

  10. Theres something called the "DISG-modell" in German which is a system to categorise people in 4 colours in general not only love. And those four are very similar to yours. But you can mix them. I tried this for three years now and it never left my disappointed.

  11. So the director is an dismissive-avoidant type and the negotiator is an anxious type, whilst the constructor is a secure type.

  12. Negotiator-NF-Phlegmatic

  13. I disagree , In Myers & Briggs Personality or MBTI , Every personality have its

    "Kinded Spirits"
    Which means ; more likely than most to share the values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

    "Intriguing Differences"

    Which means ; likely to strike them as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. They may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

    "Potential Complements"
    Which means ; may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the person initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

    And lastly ,

    "Challenging Opposites
    Which means ; the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the person, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people with different types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the completely different personality of the person, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the person's personality weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

  14. This is amazingly accurate, as simple as you compressed it for this short video … He is so the director and I am so the negotiator. We are such walking clichés … 😂

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