The Leslie | LGBT Web Series | Episode 10 | “Fish Tacos”
Hey. Good Looking. I’ve been waiting for you all night. Click here to enter. [knocks on the door] [knocks on the door] – Hi!
– Hey… So this is totally embarrassing, but: I’m locked out of my apartment and
my locksmith isn’t going to be here for another hour… And I really have to pee. – Come on in.
– You’re a saint. I….. – I hope you had fun last night.
– Oh. I mean, yeah. It was great, uh…. Were you okay? I mean, you just seemed kind of down
and then you disappeared for the night. Yeah… No, I was… I was fine, I just… Needed to… get some air. Well, maybe next time I could join you? I just… I was bummed we didn’t get to hang out. I was a pretty awful host, wasn’t I? That’s not what I meant. No, I was though… You should, let me make it up to you. Oh? Yeah, I mean, you could hang out here
until your locksmith comes. I’m not really doing much but… I have fish tacos. Well, I do enjoy a good fish taco. – So…
– Great! And I don’t know if you’ve seen,
there’s this new video of a cat in a sweater. We… could… watch that? This… Yeah… Sounds good. – Okay
– Okay Hey Good Looking, I’ve been waiting for you–. [snigger] Fish tacos, huh? – [whispered] Yeah
[Alex sniggers] [Leslie sniffles and sighs] Like stilts? Yeah! Plastic stilts! Are they fitted at all?
Or are they just constant pain and…? No, it’s like you’re… that’s your legs,
you’re born with tree branch arms. I’m born with plastic stilt…am I a cyborg? Yeah, well either that or you have tree branch arms. Or plastic…stilt…legs. There’s an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” like that. -There is…I love that episode.
-Remember? And the spider comes out. It’s really bad – Leslie: I don’t like this..
– Alex: I was like: I don’t like this show anymore. No kiding. [At same time:]
– Okay, I can’t watch this anymore
– Alex: That show is my guilty pleasure. – Alex: Unfortunately.
– Leslie: I know, me too. – Leslie: Okay…
– Alex: Seriously. Oh, okay… – Alex: Yes! I have one.
– Leslie: You do one. I told you I had one. Okay. Would you rather: Have to be completely naked
every time you went outside? – Okay.
– Or…. Never have sex again? Under the terms of a second condition… Would I be allowed to masturbate? Masturbation accepted. [snigger] – Be naked every time I go outside.
– Really?! – Yeah, I mean…
– I was not expecting that. – Really?
– Yeah No, I’ve got great boobs.
Why not share them with the world? Okay. I have a better one. – Alrighty.
– Okay… – Would you rather:
– I don’t think it’s better, but… Oh no, I’m really good at this game. – Are you?
– Yeah, I’m great… Would you rather: Walk in on your parents having sex? Or have your parents walk in on you having sex? Have them walk in on me. – That is the wrong answer!
– No, It’s not the wrong… It’s not! No, I mean, there’s no wrong answers
but that’s really actually wrong. No! No. No no no no no. -Yeah
-No, no it makes complete sense. Cause I don’t want to see that.
That burns my face off. I mean, it’s not even something I want to think about . But like having my parents walk in on me when
I’m going bumper-to-bumper with another woman? I’d never be able to have sex again. Well, someone… as… coming… As someone who has had her mom walk in on her
when she’s going “bumper-to-bumper” with another woman,
I can say it’s not that bad. – I know…
– Like… I just… I… – …find that hard to… believe.
– No, it’s true! And then a week later, I asked
said woman to be my girlfriend. Not traumatizing at all. Wait… You mean you’re…? A bit of a revolving door. You know… ‘Don’t really care who enters. [chuckle] Oh…. Uh… Well, if that’s how you get a girlfriend,
then I really need to rethink my tactics. Do you want one? Well… I mean, my friends do. Paulie and Jen just want me to get laid, I think. Nick and Luke are living out
some voyeuristic lesbian fantasy.
[Alex chuckles] And you? I don’t really care. I mean, if I meet someone and it’s…
a fling or a girlfriend or… Even just a new friend. Never mind. No, what? Come on. Before… … I came out, I felt so… …alone. All of the time. And… I just thought that, once I did come out, that
that would change and… …I would really like to stop feeling that way. People think coming out is the hardest part
because it’s scary. It’s just as hard living in a world
that’s not built for you. – Yeah…
– I was 15 when I came out and I still have to explain what the word “bisexual” means
to people who have known me even longer. Exactly, it’s like… No one gets it. You know, and… It doesn’t help that everyone around me
has some sort of… …weird, flippant experience with women.
And here I am. And the closest I’ve gotten is
listening to Paulie recount her sorority days. Well, you don’t need experience to justify who you are. No, I know, but… It would be nice. You know what you need? What? Violets. Violets? [Alex nods] Why? In the early 20th century, women would give them
to other women as a way of… … showing they were of the Sapphic persuasion. [Alex laughs] A sort of um… Roses are red, violets are blue.
I’m a gay lady. Let’s hope you are too. Exactly. So just… Bring a bouquet out with you… and… give them to people you’re attracted to. If one of them gets it…
there you go. Instant girlfriend. I mean, it’s…
a nice theory but does it actually work? I’ve been thinking about trying it out myself, actually. Oh? There’s this girl I like. And I flirt. But every time I think she gets it…. I realize she doesn’t. Well… You’ll have to let me know if it works. Believe me. You’ll be the first to know. [cell-phone jingle] Hello? Yes. Hi. No, I’m just at a neighbor’s house. I’ll be right out there. Thank you. Locksmith? Here to save the day. Hey, thanks for letting me bug you while I waited. Yeah, no it was great. I had fun. Hey, let’s uh…
Let’s get coffee or something sometime soon. Yeah, that would be great. Do you want to like… come over
for a movie marathon tomorrow? Yeah. Yeah, that’s… even better… sooner. Okay. Okay. Good. Oh, and uh… Thanks for the fish tacos. Yeah, uh, anytime. I might hold you to that. [laugh] I could…make more tomorrow. Well, I’ll definitely hold you to that. Bye. Bye. [The door is opened, street noises,
and the door is closed] Masturbation accepted.